History, traditions

9 types of women

All women can be divided into 9 distinct categories. Read carefully; perhaps you will recognize yourself in one of them!

Woman with a difficult fate

She possesses a Master's degree. Smokes. She talks with exhaustive slowness, while carefully searching for appropriate words. In anything that happens, she sees some sort of a special, mostly tragic, meaning. She cannot stand objections. Barely uses makeup, since she is certain that nothing can be changed in this world. She is rather picky when it comes to alcoholic beverages, however she will willingly accept if someone offers her a drink. Many men have caught her lying. Many women have left her in tears and deeply frustrated. Someone, who is hard to get a hold of, forgets to pay her child support. That is why she considers all men to be alcoholics and womanizers. However, sometimes at night her face stiffens because the phone does not ring. Her beauty emanates from the fact that she makes man behave manly.

Cheering smiley face

This woman is genetically predisposed to being overweight. She talks eloquently. She is happy when guests arrive along with their children. She gets drunk from the first sip. She is capable of crying and laughing simultaneously. She still blindly believes in chivalry; falls in love momentarily if a man, after consuming her delicious meal, gently kisses her hand. She enjoys watching TV and believes almost everything. She laughs at practically every single man's joke, even the most ridiculous one. She is a loner at heart. Her magnificent quality is such that no man leaves her hungry.

Ms. Shyness

She enjoys reading books. Still has troubles finishing knitting that enormous sweater. She likes to show her guests her new books and watch peoples’ reactions. Her entire opinion of that person forms in that particular instance. That opinion could never be changed. She used to be in love once. She would address her beloved in a extremely formal manner. One can still notice a photograph of a serious looking man on a table. She hides the picture in a drawer when her father visits. She takes care of homeless animals. One can call her wonderful because she never starts talking about “relationships” and “commitments”.

Philosopher on a couch

This is an incredible woman. She totally lacks a skill of counting money. She messes up seasons and eats only chocolate candies. Any clothes suit her perfectly well, including men's clothes. She owns expensive and rare books which she is willing to lend to whoever wants them. She doesn't giggle, doesn’t cry and rarely feels upset about someone or something. She prefers to smile. She remains absolutely indifferent towards various activities. She can simply lie on the couch all day long, watching the curtain wave from the wind. She considers all men simply as men, despite their socio-economic status. It is exceptionally difficult to make her interested in the opposite sex. Paradoxically, but one could become only her friend and nothing else. Her secret lies in her ability to accurately determine one's predestination in life.

Buffalo woman

She possesses exceptional health, likes collecting books, cactuses, dogs, wines, dining sets, kitchenware, cosmetics, furniture, etc. She loves so hard that an untrained man will most likely suffer from severe muscle pains. Her best quality is that every man feels finally safe with her.

Artist

She is tired of her talent and secretly wishes to get rid of it. This is all because she does not really benefit much from it anymore except for envy and loneliness. She thinks God has made her suffer by granting her that talent—beauty. Her apartment is a mere short-term stop for loners and hard drinkers. Dreadful conversations about the meaning of life have driven her completely mad. She has gone awfully weary. She simply wants to see snowy mountain tops in blue haze, her unborn son, and finally just an ordinary person who would treat her right. She is wonderful because she is capable of truly making someone happy.

Courtesan

She ahs so much love to give than man often discuss her “talent” without even the slightest shade of embarrassment. However, men are the ones that happen to be her captives. She gathers her battalions and sends them off to fight a battle where each one of them will be able to taste the reward. She is capable to have a husband. This does not change things much however. Her mesmerizing knowledge of swearwords gives most men chills. No man will ever fight over her.

Too far out there

She is a good woman by nature. She is kind, smart and cute. She judges things objectively, admits her own mistakes and does not notice those of others. She tends to smoke a bit and smoke occasionally. She loves and hates her mirror reflection. She dreams of a baby. She feels happy when the one that tells her the words of love is actually sober. She prefers men who write poems and are romantic by nature while at the same time have their feet on the ground. The best thing about her is that she always looks gorgeous.

Poet's dream

She is a myth, a mere fantasy. The best thing about her is that she does not exist.      
 


Source: Proua.com