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George "Black Eye" Bush misses daughter's graduation day

First it was a biscuit, now it's a bicycle

Thank Heavens George Bush skived off serving in his country's military forces. If he can wreak havoc with a biscuit and a bicycle, imagine if he was allowed to come into contact with a tank or a helicopter.

George Bush missed his daughter Jenna's graduation ceremony at the University of Texas. The official reason was because the security surrounding the president would ruin the day for the graduates. But was the White House lying through its teeth yet again?

Wasn't the real reason the fact that the president of the United States of America, yet again, appeared with a split lip and a black eye? This time it was not from eating a biscuit ("Mama always told me to chew before I swallow").

No, this time it was a bicycle ride in a wood. Although the President was accompanied by secret service members and his personal doctor, nobody seems to know how the incident happened.

White House spokesperson, Trent Duffy, explained the incident as follows: "You know this president. He likes to go all out. Suffice it to say he wasn't whistling show tunes."

?????

Could it be that he was remembering some of his finest speeches, such as for example. "The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself." -spoken at Grand Rapids, Michigan, Jan. 29, 2003?

Surely not. Such an intellectual gem would have had the President panting in deepest meditation, as he received his messages from above. No, such an incident might have happened when, in the freedom of the forest, he remembered. "You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order - order out of chaos. But we will." (George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2003).

Then again, George Bush always was a visionary: "Now, we talked to Joan Hanover. She and her husband, George, were visiting with us. They are near retirement - retiring - in the process of retiring, meaning they're very smart, active, capable people who are retirement age and are retiring." (George W. Bush, Alexandria, Va., Feb. 12, 2003).

But let's face it, George Bush is nearly a God: "God loves you, and I love you. And you can count on both of us as a powerful message that people who wonder about their future can hear." (George W. Bush, Los Angeles, Calif., March 3, 2004).

Yeah. Freedom and democracy, winning hearts and minds by bombing the crap out of Iraqi kids and civilians, I mean civilians and kids, well, you know what I mean.

And anyone is thinking about voting again for this man's regime???

The United States' Head of Diplomacy, or Secretary of State, is an anachronistic, incompetent, meddling, intrusive, insolent and arrogant, rude individual, a brash, foul-mouthed upstart, a conceited, self-important guttersnipe and an insult to the international community, as fit for the job as a pedophile janitor in a grade school.

Tillerson must go!