It is a wonderful experience to give birth to a child and become a mother. But a mother still remains a woman, a woman desired and loved by her man.
Many women confess that when having sex for the first time after childbirth they feel as if they were doing that for the first time in their life. There are lucky women who dream of recommencing their sexual activity still staying at maternal hospitals after childbirth. And they actually begin to have sex soon after they come back home with their newborn babies. It is true that there are just few lucky women who can recommence and do recommence sexual relations very soon after childbirth. Statistics says that about fifty percent of mothers who just give birth to their babies have problems with their sexual relations within the first three months after childbirth, and eighteen percent of women also have these problems within the first year after childbirth. Can these problems be solved for women?
Doctors insist that women can begin having sex not earlier than in 4-6 weeks after childbirth. This is first of all connected with the fact that within the above stated period the uterus gradually reverts to the size it had before pregnancy. The time is also necessary for a superficial wound left after placenta expulsion to heal. If the prohibition is broken and a woman still has sexual contacts some infection may get into the green wound of the uterus and cause endometritis.
Vagina also needs enough time to retrieve the condition it had before childbirth. Usually, it reduces to its pre-pregnancy size by the end of the sixth week after childbirth. Doctors recommend doing Kegel exercises for perineum and vagina to make the process a success quicker.
In the middle of the past century, gynecologist Arnold Kegel created the exercises especially for women who had problems with urinary incontinence after childbirth. Later, it turned out that the exercises were wonderful for women’s sexual tonus, improved blood circulation and even helped control orgasm. To feel the muscles that must be trained with the Kegel exercises just stop a urine stream during urination. The muscles that help you stop urine are the perineum muscles. Main goal of the exercises is to learn maximally strain and relax the perineum muscles slowly and then quickly. The simple exercises can be done at any time and any place, while walking, watching TV or even staying in bed.
Even if a woman gave birth to her baby with the help of a cesarean section, she still has to wait for 4-6 weeks before she can begin having sex. A caesarean operation means that a woman’s vagina was not deformed but she still has a green wound on the uterus where the placenta was fixed. Besides, after a caesarean operation a woman has seams on the uterus and on the belly that will close up also within 4-6 weeks. At that, the seam on the belly can heal even quicker.
It may happen that a woman feels absolutely no inclination to have sex even though the period of 4-6 weeks after childbirth is over. And this is not frigidity. Women may wish no sex for several reasons, either obvious or latent.
In fact, libido is conditioned by nature. Mothers need no new babies as long as the babies they already have require mother’s care and love constantly and cannot survive independently. For this reason the organism of a woman who has recently given birth to a baby produces less oestrogen, the hormone of pleasure. This explains why women during this period may have dry vaginas even though they are perfectly stimulated. In case a woman had very hard and painful childbirth she sometimes unconsciously wishes to revenge herself upon her partner for the sufferings she had.
However, women may refuse to have sex for other clear reasons. After childbirth, women feel very fatigued of the new role and are often indignant at husbands who are no support for them about the house and with baby sitting. Women often believe they look less attractive after childbirth than before and for this reason feel less inclined to have sex with husbands. Indeed, childbirth transforms women’s bodies from that of girls into absolutely feminine shapes. It is a sure fact that many men like the new transformation. Women may also have no sexual desire because of post-natal depression that is registered with about ten percent of women after childbirth.
Young mothers fear to have sex soon after childbirth because of probable pain or because they do not know if their wounds are absolutely closed up. To be sure, women should better consult a doctor to find out if their health is in good condition after childbirth. Women in the first year after childbirth are on the constant alert and fear that the sound of sexual contacts may awaken their babies. This fear does not let women relax to be open for sexual contacts. In this case, it makes sense not to wait till night comes and a mother is absolutely tired but ask a grandmother to go for a walk with the baby to give both parents enjoy their time together. Women refuse having sex because of fear to get pregnant once again absolutely off the point. This problem can be solved with the use of different type contraceptives.
It is generally believed that a woman cannot get pregnant again as long as she breastfeeds her baby or until her menstrual period is restored. But this is a mistake. It is sometimes difficult for a woman to feel a new pregnancy until her menstrual period does not begin or becomes regular. Some women have their menstruation started on the 28th day after childbirth while others may have no menstruation as long as they breastfeed. But it does not mean that in the last case women are secured against new pregnancies. It is important for young mothers to take necessary contraceptive measures.
A rather popular rhythm or calendar contraception method will be even less effective after childbirth than in ordinary periods.
Doctors stick to various opinions as concerning hormone contraceptives for women after childbirth. Some insist that hormones may harm babies through breastfeeding, and others say that modern hormone contraceptives correctly chosen for every particular woman will not cause any harm to babies. Every woman should decide herself if she can take hormone contraceptives or not. It is necessary to consult a doctor before taking such pills. If a woman chooses this contraception method she gets a 97-99 percent protection from unwanted pregnancies.
There are several ways for introduction of hormone contraceptives into the organism: pills that must be taken at some fixed time every day; an injection that has the same indications and contra-indications that contraceptive pills do and is effective within 8-12 weeks depending upon the kind of an injection; a contraceptive capsule that is implanted under the skin on a shoulder and is effective within five years with the probability of removing at any moment.
Lippes loops are effective in 98 percent of instances but doctors recommend to introduce them not earlier than in 6 weeks after childbirth and on condition that a woman has no chronic female disorders.
Condoms, contraceptive diaphragms and spermicidal creams are effective in 85-97 percent of instances. Usage of a diaphragm together with a spermicidal cream is particularly effective.
Men wishing to have sex with their wives for the first time after childbirth should be particularly careful and patient. Women at this period demand much caress, attention and help with the baby and about the house. If a woman gets the above stated she will be more inclined to recommence sexual contacts with her husband.
Husbands should try massage wives with essential oils that will help women better relax. For recommencement of sexual contacts women should better take such sexual positions that allow them to control the depth and frequency of penetration during coitus. And never doubt that you are attractive for your partner because women are usually more critical as concerning their looks than men.
In general, recommencement of sexual relations between partners after childbirth is in fact the end of a post-natal period and beginning of a new stage in the family life. And it is up to both partners to make it happy!
Translated by Maria Gousseva