Fishing and sex
Are there any differences between fishing and sex? In fact, there are quite a few of them. For example, fishing will never bring you to orgasm nor will it make your pregnant or HIV-infected. The point is that fishing has to do with a handful of people who do it for a living or pleasure while the rest listen condescendingly to fish stories about catching a bass the size of a sturgeon or a pike as big as a shark. On the other hand, sex is something all of us have. Well, most of us engage in sexual activities from time to time at the least. And some of us just love spreading fish stories about our sexual exploits.
Most people have sex in private. As a rule, bedrooms are not bugged or have concealed cameras to record the games between the sheets. Therefore, one can only believe or disbelieve in numerous raunchy stories. Consequently, all that bedroom secrecy gives rise to myths and rumors enveloping the other that can rival those made up by fishing buffs.
For instance, nobody knows for sure how often people have sex. On the face of it, an opinion poll seems to be a good way of gathering accurate data on the subject. But who can guarantee that respondents would tell the truth?
More in it than meets the eye
Taking into account the above, we can assume that nobody knows anything about the norm when it comes to the frequency of sexual activity. In other words, nobody can set a borderline between sex and sexual deprivation (forced abstinence from sex).
We polled 331 men and 203 women, the users of the Internet community Live Journal, nearly all of them fall into an age group ranging from 20 to 40 years, in an attempt to shed some light on the issue. The results of our opinion poll look pretty strange: more than 86% of men and 77% of women reported that they did not experience any sexual deprivation if they had sex 2-3 times a week or more often. “More often” concerns a group of respondents who have sex several times a day (11% of men and 7% of women).
What about those who do not a multiple sex experience throughout the day? They are supposed to feel a kind of sex hunger once in a while at the least. But who are those people?
First, lonely people cannot have sex because they are lonely. Period. Second, separated partners cannot have sexual encounters if they do not have a place of their own for such purposes. Third, some people cannot care less for sex because they work round the clock. Fourth, some couples banish the thought of having sex in a crowded apartment while their insomniac in-laws read tabloids all night in close proximity to a bedroom, with children running wild all over the house.
We will have quite a number after adding up all the above plus those “veteran” spouses who do nothing but sleep while sharing the bed. The latter category is much bigger than previously thought. For example, data obtained by U.S. National Center for Opinion Studies indicate that 16% of married couples have not had sex over the last month, while 7% have not had sex over the last year. The figures relating to an opinion poll of 1992 can appear slightly out-of-date, though.
In short, sexual deprivation is not a rare phenomenon. The beast is closer than it seems, it is lurking in a lonely apartment, breathing down your neck.
It is easy to look for explanations citing ugly looks or character flaws since sex is always associated with self-assertion and self-esteem, at least to some extent. However, we had better give it a try and find out whether the so-called sex hunger really has a terrible impact on women’s health.
Abstinence from sex and women’s health
Finding answers may take a lot of effort since there is no reliable information on the subject. Some medical experts believe that a long-term sexual abstinence causes changes in the vagina resulting in pain during sexual intercourse. The congestion of blood in the organs of pelvis minor due to unreleased sexual arousal can give rise to inflammatory processes in the above organs. Besides, a lack of sex disrupts the proper balance of sex hormones. As a result, an excess quantity of female hormones increases the risk of developing such diseases as mastopathy, myoma of uterus and even cancer of endometrium. On the other hand, an insufficient quantity of male hormones (responsible for sex drive) results in emotional disturbances e.g. a person becomes easily irritated or annoyed, and tends to avoid other people. According to some forensic psychologists, abstinence from sex can increase the risk of being raped. They maintain that 60% of rape victims suffer from a lack of regular sexual activity.
Other experts stress the point that promiscuity poses a greater risk to women’s health. Apart from numerous STDs, promiscuity is often associated with abortions which take a heavy toll of a woman’s body.
The results of a study conducted by researchers at the University of Magdeburg, Germany, have been recently released. According to them, a regular sexual activity causes some hormonal changes that may have a negative impact on a woman’s life expectancy. However, no details relating to causes and mechanisms of the changes are mentioned in the study.
Finally, many gynecologists recommend that a lonely woman without a regular sexual partner should opt on abstinence, compared to one-night stands, which increase the risk of catching a human papilloma virus. The virus is thought to be a main risk factor relating to cervical cancer.
One man’s meat is another man’s poison
There are only two points all the experts agree on. First, people are different. Second, he that has an ill name is half hanged.
The place of sex on the list of life’s “most valuable things” is variable in case of different people. Some people so not see sex as a top priority. Therefore, abstinence from sex is a minor discomfort to them, compared to lots of trouble suffered by those with temperament and a pronounced sex urge.
Besides, the majority of our sufferings associated with sex hunger are of our own making. Abstinence is not a direct cause of our pain; it is torture to realize that we are not at a par with self-imposed concepts of proper sex, the former being akin to those fish tales.
In actuality, there is no such thing as the “norm” or “standard” in terms of sex. Therefore, speculating at length about the “right” amount of sex required for a healthy or happy life is rather pointless. We had better give a thought or two to steps that should be taken if sex happens to be in short supply.
You’ve got to keep that fire burning
Never pull the plug on the prospects of your sex life. The task is a difficult one since a prolonged sex hunger results in a gradual withering of the sex urge. You do not feel like having a bit of the other after several months of abstinence. But sexuality does not fade away completely; it can get a second wind once your sex life gets back to normal.
Practice masturbation, which cannot, without doubt, substitute for full-blown sex yet it can effectively help you deal with a buildup of tension. Besides, masturbation is a good way of reminding yourself of your sexuality. And, last but not least, masturbation is a pleasurable experience.
Treat your body to anything that provides enjoyment e.g. massage and sauna, sunbathing and swimming, a sensuous bath, silk-and-satin lingerie, coffee and chocolate etc.
Fill up the gap caused by a lack of tactile sensations. Hug your friends and loved ones, and keep a pet.
Translated by Guerman Grachev