Surveys conducted on the Internet found that men (mostly single ones) can do without sex for three weeks at a maximum. Their abstinence limits tend to crumble once they down four brandies and spot a busty blonde in a bar. The poll found that married men can show greater patience when it comes to sexual abstinence – yet another piece of evidence indicating that a family can be a good influence on men’s health.
Women are said to be capable of forgoing sex for a much longer period. However, the word “ability” does not seem to belong here. In most cases, women have to do without sex, for a number of reasons. That is why the quality of sex has priority over its quantity for us. Speaking of sexual abstinence, the question is: Is it really an awful thing?
All of us have heard about the beneficial effects of sex on our well-being. Engaging in sexual activities can raise endorphins levels and improve flexibility; it is positively enriching, includes mutually pleasurable experiences, and enhances self-determination, communication, and relationships. Every second thousands of people read and write about sex and sex-related subjects.
Sex is all the rage; there is no doubt about it. Sex seems to be the hottest item in a large variety of periodicals and web sites. All that fuss about sex may get you to form the impression that having quality sex with some dream lover on a daily basis is today’s norm. Likewise, you should not feel bored or ashamed when having sex. And you are supposed to do your utmost and become a perfect partner. Any deviations from the above goals should be seen as signs of abnormality. However, it is easy to set things to rights by following recommendations you can find in an article, book, video etc.
“There’s nothing I can do about it, that’s the way I am,” you sigh right after confessing that there are some other interests in your life apart from sex. Perhaps you would be amazed to find out that the majority of women belong to the same category, the one that supposedly lags behind when it comes to “the norm.” In actuality, there is no “norm” at all. On the other hand, there is definitely something that is called a fad.
Complete abstinence from all sexual activity and sexual relations over a long period of time will not do any good to the majority of women. It is true that we need sex so that we can experience the pleasures and emotions it can provide. The desire is perfectly normal and natural. Yet the idea of having sex as much as one can stems from lots of hype on the part of those interested in putting a spin on the subject. You will soon end up dreaming of pickles if you live on a diet of pastries and chocolates.
Any religious practice, any ancient theory concerning sexual relations makes reference to a period of sexual abstinence. We are not necessarily referring to Lent or an annual season of fasting that exists in many Christian churches. In fact, the Christian religion takes a rather austere stand on sexual relations. One of the ancient Arab love manuals contains guidelines and instructions for a couple to follow during a 10-day period of sexual activity. Once the period draws to a close, it will be followed by a new cycle.
You must have read that fasting as a religious observance can do you good. It can help your body to get rid of unwanted toxins and waste. Not unlike a period of not eating food, a period of sexual abstinence can have a beneficial effect on your body and your mind. Absence makes the heart grow fonder as the old saying goes.
A period of keeping yourself from enjoyment of something is an excellent opportunity for you to pause and have some rest. You get a chance to look back at things that happened to you of late. You probably have to look into the situation in detail so as to identify causes of your stoppage in case you were forced to do it. It is a chance to check the directions and look around.
Some of those who have gone or go without sex claim that a sex-free life feels great. You do not have to worry about the continual search for a partner. You could not care less if you look sexy or not. You do not cry in agony thinking about the absence of orgasm. Your emotional state and your self-esteem are not dependent on your sex life or a lack of it for that matter. In other words, you can sublimate you sex drive into creative activity.
The above description of a life devoid of sex does not mean that you should forgo sexual activity in an attempt to experience some new sensations. You can also get pleasure out of living a life in which sexual relations play an important role, otherwise we would be stressed-out at all times or humankind would cease to exist. There are two important things we would like to stress at this point.
First, you should banish the following thoughts: “I don’t have sex, and therefore there’s something wrong about me. I look ugly; I’m not sexy at all…” You had better see the lack of sex as an opportunity (you can figure out what kind of opportunity it should be).
Second, all things must pass. It is up to you to decide how you are going to pass your time of sexual abstinence. No doubt about it, a long period of sexual abstinence cannot do you good in terms of health, emotional state and looks. However, fooling around for the sake of “health factors and marketability” or eating tons of chocolate to fill the gap is hardly a good influence on our well-being either.
Let us face our problems with maturity. You can always tell yourself something like: “That’s right. I do not have any sex life at the moments. But things are going to change. I can do whatever it takes to change the situation if I want to.” Chocolate is, without doubt, a delicious thing. However, a relish for chocolate may put off your “comeback to big sex” because you will put on weight and your self-esteem will be lowered as a result.
You can postpone your sexual revival until the day when you look beautiful, smell gorgeous, and know everything about that crazy little thing called love. Alternatively, you can disregard your complexes and try to fix your private life today. You can either complain about the problems to your husband as you lay in bed or start searching for solutions.
Translated by Guerman Grachev