“You can even feel lonely because of your nose if it’s too long.”
The thing is, we normally see ourselves as being part of some system or filed under the certain category. We think about ourselves as being part of a family, part of a company stuff, part of a cactus society, even part of the earth dwellers. Loneliness is a clear-cut desire to be counted in some group which exists without us at the moment. In broad terms, feeling lonely is a sensation of something that is missing, a missing link we need to locate and feel.
What are we missing after all?
Maybe we miss true warmth. This variety of loneliness is ostentatiously “social” by origin. Feeling unwanted and unwelcome, being forced to do odd jobs or take some horrendously boring position to make ends meet will eventually make you feel lost, dejected and unable to do something worthwhile. Killing your dream slowly but surely is not a sign of strength. It merely indicates that you are afraid of making changes to your life, the changes that may bring back the lust for life.
We probably miss some new sensations. A person who complains of feeling lonely while keeping company with his lover is often unaware of his real problem: a lack of new emotions. New emotions are a must for spicing up a relationship between the two persons who have learned each other’s ways and habits through and through.
A lack of self-respect can be a big problem.
“Nobody loves me. And how on earth can anybody fall in love with such a scary monster, I’m ugly and stupid, I can’t speak English and my career simply sucks.” The above must look familiar to those who are not certain of themselves. A person who does not love anybody and believes there is nothing in him another person can take a fancy to, such a person is likely to become more and more isolated due to realization of his own loneliness. It will take you a lot of effort to step outside the well-used path and stop comparing yourself to other people. But those who are strong enough to regain interest in other humans will be rewarded while making new friends and taking part in funny projects.
A lack of the ability to meet requirements of the norm is yet another variety of low self-esteem. A person feels miserable because he cannot comply with the universally recognized standards. “I feel so lonely because I have no husband,” says a girl. The message she is apparently trying to convey is: I am so upset because all my girlfriends are married now and I’m still single. This kind of suffering can be pretty devastating. You can even feel lonely because of your nose it happens to be far too long.
A lack of other people’s attention frequently affects teenagers. They believe their life is a drag because they can feel the uniqueness of their world while persons outside it simply ignore them. Staging some kind of a noisy protest or indulging in a rebel act is the best way of drawing attention. Many teenagers can only establish contact with the world by stirring trouble. The mechanisms of society are still a mystery to teenagers.
A person can feel like the most lonesome creature in the world due to lack of that special one. Some people feel even worse because they miss the company of a pop star, the writer Fedor Dostoevsky or some Mr. Right, a knight in shining armor, the only one who can make this rotten world a better place. Needless to say, it really hurts when you lose someone who means a lot to you. The most important thing is to try and avert reaching the point of no return, when the words “I can’t live without him and I won’t live without him” become a refrain. In actuality, we are born alone and we die alone. The point is that you should not confuse two things: loneliness and suffering caused by a depressing feeling caused by being alone. A person can suffer from too much of a human contact just like he would suffer from the lack of it.
Translated by Guerman Grachev
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