D. Dad, why did we invade Iraq?
B. Because they had weapons of mass destruction, dear.
D. But inspectors did not find any weapons of mass destruction there.
B. That is because the Iraqis hid it well.
D. And this is why we invaded Iraq?
B. Yes. Invasion always works better than inspections.
D. But we did not find any WMDs even after the invasion, didn’t we?
B. That is because it is hidden somewhere. Don’t you worry, we’ll think of something right before the elections of 2004.
D. Dad, why does Iraq need these weapons?
B. To use it in warfare, dear.
D. I don’t get it. If they have these weapons, why didn’t they use them when we invaded them?
B. Well, perhaps, they did not want anybody to know that they had WMDs. They simply preferred to die by thousands, instead of defending themselves.
D. But this is stupid—to die, while having all these weapons and not using them against us.
B. We are dealing with a different culture here. It is impossible to understand them.
D. I don’t know about you but I refuse to believe they had WMDs.
B. You know, in actuality it doesn’t matter whether or not they possess these weapons. We also had another good reason to invade Iraq.
D. What was it?
B. Even if they did not have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was still a ruthless dictator and it was a good reason to invade their country.
D. Why was that ruthless dictator a good reason to invade their country?
B. Well, for instance, he oppressed his people.
D. Was he oppressing people the same way they do it in China?
B. Don’t you dare comparing Iraq and China! China is our good economic partner; millions of people there are working for pitiful salary to enable prosperity of American Corporations.
D. So, if a country exploits its people to benefit American Corporations, then it’s a good country? even if its people are oppressed?
B. That’s right.
D. Why were people in Iraq oppressed?
B. Mainly, for political crimes, such as criticism of the government. People who criticized the government were sent to jail.
D. Do the same things happen in China?
B. No, dear. I’ve already told you—things are different in China.
D. What is the difference between China and Iraq?
B. Well, for instance, the Baas party used to rule Iraq and In China—communists ruled the country.
D. But you used to say that communists were bad…
B. No, those are Cuban communists who are bad…
D. Why are they bad?
B. They sentence people to long-term imprisonments for criticizing the government.
D. Just as they do in Iraq?
D. What about China?
B. I have already told you that China is our partner, and Cuba—No.
D. Why did not Cuba become out good partner?
B. Ahh…back in the 60s our government adopted few laws which forbade trade with Cubs until they give up their communist regime and accept capitalism like us.
D. But what if we disregard the laws and establish free trade with Cuba, won’t it help Cubans to become capitalists?
B. Hey, don’t be a smart ass!
B. Doesn’t matter. They don’t even have religious freedom in Cuba.
D. Similar to China?
B. I think I’ve already asked you to refrain from talking crap about China. Saddam Hussein came to power as a result of military revolution; so, he is an evil dictator after all.
D. What’s a military revolution?
B. It is when army generals, servicemen take governmental power by force, instead of conducting elections, like it is done in our country.
D. Didn’t Pakistani government come to power the same way?
B. Do you mean General Musharaff? Well... yes. Of course. But Pakistan is our friend.
D. Why are we friends with Pakistan, if his government is illegal?
B. I didn’t say that Musharaff was an illegal ruler.
D. But you just said that the one who comes to power using force is an illegal ruler.
B. This only applies to Saddam Hussein. Musharaff is our friend; he helped us during the invasion of Afghanistan.
D. Why did we invade Afghanistan?
B. For what they did on September 11th.
D. What did they do on September 11th?
B. On Septemr 11th, 19 men (15 of them from Saudi Arabia) stole 4 airplanes and crashed them into WTC killing 3000 Americans.
D. So what does Afghanistan have to do with it?
B. These people, there murders have been training in Afghanistan, during the Taliban dictatorship.
D. Are Talibs those evil radical Islamists, that chop off peoples’ hands and heads?
B. Yes, that’s them. Not only do they chop off peoples’ heads and hands but they also oppress women.
D. Did not Bush give them $43 million USD in 2001?
B. Yes, but that was simply their reward, a way to say ‘thank you’ for their fight against drugs.
D. For fight against drugs?
B. Yes. Talibs helped us greatly: they did not allow Afghani to grow opium.
D. How did they do it?
B. That was easy. Those who were caught growing opium, had their hands and heads chopped off.
D. So, chopping heads and hands off for growing flowers if good and for something else is bad?
D. Dad, does the one who fights our friends considered our enemies?
B. Sometimes this is the case. But if we manage to earn a few bucks on weapons sales, then both parties can benefit.
B. Because war is good for the economy, that means it is good for America. Besides, if God is on our side, then anyone who is against this war—is an impious anti-American communist. So do you understand why we invaded Iraq?
D. I think so. Because God wanted so, right?
D. And how did we get to know that God wanted us to invade Iraq?
B. Well, you see, God talks to George Bush personally. He tells him what to do.
D. So, basically, you are saying that we invaded Iraq because you hear voices inside your head?
B. Yeah! So now you understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, sleep tight.