Recent scientific investigations of mysterious creatures called men prove that their behaviour is similar to that one of rats, roosters, elephants and even gnus. Most of women state with confidence that all men are swine. The reasons they give: some streaks peculiar to this animal could be found in men. For example, men are practically omnivorous and like digging in filth. Though, these women are not right. Men are complexly organized animals. One should study animal world more carefully to investigate man’s behaviour. A typical sign of male behaviour is the principle of men’s solidarity. Everybody knows it. For example, one should not sleep with his friend’s girlfriend. This was not invented by men. Baboons living in Somalia, keep to the same principle: they are ready to win over a female from foreign tribe, while they never will attempt on neighbourly baboon females. One more sign of male behaviour is: they never meet their engagements (for example, their promise to marry someone). And this is not odd. As soon as man’s passion is on the wane (in the morning, after the night of love), he calmly goes to other men’s company and spends there his time with pleasure. Elephants behave in the same way. Though elephants’ life is much heavier, because elephant females are inclined to love plays only once in 5 years, so most of time the males should accompany an attractive, though indifferent lady. After 5 years of courting, the male finally gets what he has been obtaining for so long: could you imagine his orgasm after 5-year continence! Though, afterwards he calmly goes to his elephant brothers to browse in a glade and to tell to the others about his love success. And you know, elephants forget nothing. Further sign of men’s behaviour: they are too aggressive in business. As well as an eagle, who sees another bird carrying fish in its beak and attacks it to take away the prey. Or, it falls down as a stone, while seeing an otter, and snatches the food out of the shocked animal’s fall. One more male quality: men like to pretend being sentimental. Women love sentimental and tender men, in whom “internal child” was not killed. While men do not want it at all: from their view, being sentimental means being weak. Though they easily pretend to be sentimental. In this same way, rodents behave: in breeding period they imitate baby’s cry. And what is really curious, they attract females in this way. If it does not work, some kinds of rodent, to achieve female’s benevolence, pour upon it their urine, i.e. mark their territory. It should be noticed that in human society, this strategy hardly can be recommended as a successful one. One more sign of man’s behaviour: if even they return from work earlier, they are sure, from unknown reasons, that supper must expect them at home. They still suppose that women orient in supermarket or in the kitchen better than they. An example of such behaviour could found in lions. Lion female runs in savanna while hunting down a prey, strives for it, fights for it, and brings pieces to the place where the pride dwells. And finally, the male itself appears. Well rested, he is first who comes to the prey and wants best pieces. And he really takes best pieces, because there are no feminists among lions. To resume all said above, we could conclude that man is not such a primitive creature, as it was assumed earlier, and it could be trained. But it is very important to know why it behaves in some situations in certain way. So, probably, it is time to start training.
Translated by Vera Solovieva
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